Oh and it was going so well. I got tired sometimes but I was eating well (really well she says thinking of steak and sweet potato mash and gammon and pineapple and scrambled egg ….hmm? Sorry I just went to my happy place). I even spent a glorious afternoon at the pub outside in the sunshine like a normal person. I’d done enough internet clothes shopping to kickstart the economy of a small country. I was feeling wonderful … Then we get to Wednesday. Ok usual “talk of poo” alert. *pause for few people holding their morning bowl of cocoa pops to leave room*

You know my bum isn’t supposed to be working anymore? Well it started to erm work again and how. It was like “stent gate” all over again. The painful pushing sensation, the adult pull ups, the lack of appetite. By Thursday evening it was decided it was ambulance time again and since Thursday I’ve been startling people on the Danbury ward who remember the relentlessly cheerful one from a couple of weeks ago.

I’ve had a steady stream of surgeons, oncologists and what are obviously 12 year olds in their Dad’s scrubs trying to work out what the heck is happening down there. I’m on the incredibly strong antibiotics again. We’re also trying out slow release morphine tablets twice a day. Not saying they make me a bit gormless but the radiologist who did my CAT scan on Friday night said she’d seen many reactions from patients as they were scanned but a big cheesy grin throughout was a first.

I have a theory about what’s going on but I’m just going to keep it to myself and see if they agree on Monday. All I can say is that at time of writing this I’m in bad, bad need of a large bacon roll and a black coffee and not in need of an adult pull up but we’ll see.

Ok gotta go. The tea trolley lady will be here in a sec and I think I’m one of her favourites as I usually get a biscuit. Catch you later.

Update:  It’s now Saturday morning and I got home on Thursday.  My theory was sort of right but not quite.  Basically what I hadn’t realised is that the colostomy I had done didn’t seal anything off.  I think I’d imagined some sort of knot or something underneath the stoma.  Nooo.  The way I think of it is like a hose pipe.  If you put a couple of holes in it then the water will divert to where the holes are but if those holes get blocked then the water will still head towards the end of the pipe.  I’d got constipated therefore my bottom said “Oh I think I remember what to do.  I could probably help out here.”

So I was sent home after my PICC line was removed – yay!! The doctor said I might have to live with adult pull-ups which I’ll just have to get used to but hopefully most of the time it won’t be necessary as long as my stoma keeps working which at the time of writing it is doing.

I sometimes think and I wonder dear reader if you do too, if I ought to name all the wonderful people in my life who do so much for me, who are just “there” and who, as I type and remember, bring tears to my eyes because their love is overwhelming.  I don’t because this isn’t a radio dedication, its a blog about my experience with cancer but mainly because these people will recognise who I mean and be crying too – they’re soft like that.